Two Dogs Walk Into a Bakery…Where’s the Punch Line?

I had a really nice weekend. The weather was beautiful so I finished some outdoor projects, caught up on some fall cleaning and spent some quality time at my local dog bakery. 

<insert screeching brake sound here> 
What? A dog bakery? Yes, my friends, a dog bakery. I should preface this whole story by first sharing that I recently became the mom of an adorable American Bulldog named Max, also known as “cutester,” or “poopster.” Ugh, it looks even worse than it sounds when I actually say it. I’ve found that I can’t even string together a coherent sentence in Max’s presence because I’m blinded by the cuteness…but I digress.
Anyway, Max loves treats. Go figure. And being the devoted mom that I am, I’ve made it my personal mission to get Max the best treats I can find. I started out perusing the aisles of my local pet store, but amidst the sea of doggie treats, nothing really looked good. But as I Googled “the best dog treats on earth,” I came across a dog bakery, conveniently located just 30 minutes from my house.
So, I prepared for my journey to the bakery like Indiana Jones in his quest for the Holy Grail…of dog treats.   I walked into the bakery and was greeted by miles and miles of glass cases filled with sugar cookies, truffles, bon bons…everything you can ever imagine, all for dogs. My first reaction was confusion: “Is it weird that I think these treats look delicious?” This was followed quickly by curiosity: “I wonder what would happen if I ate one of these?”
I left Max at the doggie pit stop (a bowl of water right next to a huge, 4-foot-tall pug stuffed animal). As I scanned the cases, I saw that everything is made with all-natural ingredients, hand-decorated (this week’s treat du jour was a pumpkin truffle complete with icing “stem”) and caters to dogs of all sizes.
I was plagued by indecision…if I were a dog, which treats would I want? The watermelon cut-outs with icing “seeds” look good, but why would I want to limit myself to one variety? I could get a sampler, but do I really want to risk binging on treats and dealing with the stomach ache that is sure to follow? In the spirit of not setting Max on the path to doggie obesity, I only chose a couple items, including the best-selling peanut butter cups and the seasonal pumpkin truffles.
As you can see, Max clearly enjoyed them and quickly fell into a blissful, treat-induced slumber. As for me, I’m not entirely convinced these dog treats are worth the extra bucks. But I will say that they look good enough to eat and if someone double dog dared me to try one, I just might…